A Confession

To whom it may concern; I have been, and continue to be far less than I could be, want to be and should be. This is not an apology, neither is it a form of request for guidance, help or even simple conversation. Its not a promise to do better, I have learnt not to make such whimsical declarations. It is simply what it is. A statement. And, as with all these posts, a one way conversation. It is perhaps a statement that you have made yourself, though probably not, and I would usually avoid such observations myself. After all it is usually best to try and view the more constructive, positive and developmental parts of ones self apposed to seeing your flaws. But they don't go away and living in denial is like pretending your someone else. I'm not, though i may not be me either. I should further clarify; i don't want to lead you to believe that I am failing to earn enough money, or get the right job. I am not drawn to assess my moral choices by comparing my actions, feelings, thoughts, and emotions with others or their given methods of judgement or frames of reference; i have no desire to improve the standing of my immortal soul in either the eye's of God or anyone who may claim too know him/her/it better than I do myself. I also don't want you too think that I wish to tone muscle, pluck hair, alter bone structure, buy better, smarter fitting more shapely clothes, or anything else that will better package something I regard considerably more holy than a product. No none of that, or perhaps all of that. I, like you, perhaps, have an obligation to for fill. If God is omni present and potent, my hands are those of God. My eyes are those of God. He See's and feels through me. Too an extent. I am a learning creature. A developing creature. So is the world, and universe in which we all live. Even if God is more than the sum of its parts (which is another world of thought), that is all of creation, this expanding, developing, evolving, learning element must form part of its personality; just as it forms part of us, or as the fact just because I enjoy learning, dose not mean I never play. Perhaps the reason we don't have any answers is because neither does it. We and God do everything together, even understand and create. That's the only way we could ever be truly be one with God. It is my obligation to live and experience. God granted me an aspect of its self from which to see back into the mirror. I simply have to cram in more before he calls in the favour.